16 Years as an Atheist đ«đ
Here's what I've learned...
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Whatâs up nonbelievers, doubters, and skeptics?
Iâm an atheist who lives in the Bible Belt. I actually became an atheist in 2009. Itâs really hard to believe that itâs been that long.
I grew up Baptist and then went to a Pentecostal church in my late teens and early twenties. If you want the full deconversion story, you can check it out here.
In my time as an atheist, there have been a lot of highs and lows, and Iâve learned a lot about myself⊠about atheists in general⊠and about how people view us.
So, to stick with the theme of 16, here are 16 things Iâve learned during my time as an atheist.
1. A lot of people donât know what âatheistâ means.
They think it means you worship the devil. Or that youâre unsure of what you believe. Or that you know there are definitely no gods.
But being an atheist just means I donât believe in God. Thatâs it. Itâs not a claim about the universe. It doesnât mean Iâm mad at God, or backslidden, or confused. It just means I donât believe.
2. You donât have to label yourself.
Even though I use the label âagnostic atheist,â Iâve learned over the last 16 years that labels arenât required.
If youâre questioning your faith or not sure what you believe, you donât have to slap a label on it. If âagnosticâ fits, great. If not, thatâs fine too. You can just be honest about what you believe; labels are optional.
3. Itâs okay to say âI donât know.â
Thereâs this idea that atheists are supposed to know everything about philosophy, science, and logic.
But Iâm okay saying âI donât know.â What happened before the Big Bang? I donât know. Why do bad things happen? I donât know. And I donât have to make up an answer like âGod did itâ to feel better.
4. Not every deconstruction path ends in atheism.
Some people question their faith and end up believing more strongly. Others land somewhere in the middle. And thatâs okay.
I donât need everyone to become an atheist. I just want people to question things and be honest about where they land.
5. The anger comes and goes.
When I first became an atheist in 2009, I was angry. Not because people lied to me intentionally, but because I felt misled.
That anger faded over time... then came back in waves depending on what I saw in the news or what Christians were posting online.
The anger is part of it sometimes. And thatâs normal.
6. People take it personally when you donât believe in their god.
Even when I just share my story, people tell me Iâm wrong. They assume Iâm rejecting the âone true God,â and that I should see the truth just like they do.
They take it personally, even when itâs not about them.
7. Dating a religious person is hard (but doable).
Itâs possible, but there have to be boundaries and zero expectations about converting each other.
It gets especially tricky when you talk about the futureâraising kids, going to church, etc. Itâs easier when the religious partner is more spiritual than fundamentalist. But either way, it takes a lot of compromise.
8. Deconstructing religion helps you deconstruct other things too.
Once I started questioning religion, it opened the door to questioning my politics, my upbringing, and my worldview in general.
I used to believe what I was taught without question. After breaking free from religion, I started asking, Why do I really believe this?
9. People assume a lot when you say youâre an atheist.
They assume I hate Christians.
Or that I had a bad church experience.
That I have no morals.
That I claim to know the origin of the universe.
What my politics are.
But I never said any of that. People just project their assumptions when they hear the word âatheist.â
10. I became more compassionate.
Not everyone will, but I did.
When I let go of religious guilt and rules, I was able to see people more clearly. I stopped judging them based on what my holy book said and started empathizing with where they were coming from.
11. There are good and bad atheists.
Just like there are good and bad Christians.
Saying someoneâs an atheist tells you one thing: that they donât believe in a god. Thatâs it. It doesnât make them a good person. It doesnât make them your new best friend. You have to look at the whole person.
12. Worship songs still get stuck in my head.
Even 16 years later.
Iâll be in the shower or driving, and a worship song will randomly pop in my head. Not every day. Not even every week. But often enough.
Christians might think that means âGodâs calling me back.â Nope. Just means they were catchy, and I listened to them a lot during a very formative time in my life.
13. Christian nationalism is way more dangerous than I realized.
I used to think church and state were basically separate in the U.S.
But the longer Iâve been out of religion, the more Iâve noticed how much Christian nationalism has crept into our laws, politics, and public schools. Itâs a real threat, and itâs not subtle.
14. Online community matters.
When I first deconstructed, I felt alone, but finding other people who had gone through the same thing made a huge difference.
Atheist creators, podcasts, and meme accounts helped me feel less isolated. Thatâs one of the main things I discovered after starting Jesus Unfollower.
15. People think atheism is a phase.
Even after 16 years, I still hear things like âyouâll come back to Godâ or âyouâre just angry.â
Itâs wild how some folks canât accept that I genuinely donât believe. They see it as temporary rebellion, not a worldview Iâve thoughtfully arrived at.
16. I donât regret leaving.
Not for a second.
It hasnât always been easy. But Iâm so glad I made the choice to live authentically, even when it meant being misunderstood, rejected, or judged.
I wouldnât trade the freedom I have now for anything.
Comments From Christians
Itâs Holy Week, which means there arenât any angry Christians leaving horrible commentsâŠright?
I get very sick of the kumbaya bullshit.
Sure, in an ideal world, Iâd love for everyone to get along, but thatâs not reality.
If everyone were like this person, weâd all get steamrolled.
Some of the most artistic and brilliant people in the world are atheists. Meanwhile, Gooberâs main contribution to the world is being an anonymous, condescending troll.
How about âYou canât be a prick and be a Christianâ?
Again with the âyouâre not allowed to have opinions because someoneâs feelings could get hurtâ nonsense.
Theyâre free to practice their religion, and Iâm free to criticize it.
Oh, Susie. One of us believes propaganda, and itâs not me.
I wish there were no need for my account to exist.
I wonder if Jenniefer is okay.
IâM GUESSING NOT.
This next dudeâŠ
Itâs weird how simply posting a reel about not going to church makes people this angry. I wonder how his strained relationships with his children are going.
And now for the worst comment of the week!
It comes from a man named King Carlos. You can see it by becoming a paid subscriber. Itâs the best way to support the work I do! If youâre already a paid sub, thank you so much!
Here goes:
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