Protests and Tariffs (SATIRE)

Roseanne deserved better

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What’s up, Patriots?

I hope you’re feeling blessed and highly favored today. I know I am.

I went down to Walmart and picked up some Diet Coke, fishing lures, and flowers for my wife (these were just because flowers…as in just because I got angry and punched a hole in the living room drywall).

I’m feeling blessed because my total came to $77.77. Can you believe that? That’s truly a sign that God is watching over me!

Now you may ask: why did those few items cost so much? I’ll tell you why… it’s because of the lingering effect of Sleepy Joe Biden.

Are we in the 4th month of Trump’s presidency? Sure. But that just shows how much Biden and Kamala messed up our economy.

Anyway…back to the $77.77. It could have just as easily been $66.66, and I’ve had that happen before. What did I do in that situation? I prayed and prayed until God changed that amount. He did so by leading me to grab a Whatchamacalit and handing it to the cashier. Boom. Just like that, I owed $67.95.

Sometimes in life, you have to ask for God’s guidance, and He will make His presence known.

“Protests”

I live in Knoxville, TN. As I was headed back home from Dick’s Sporting Goods, I noticed there were people lined up along the road with signs that said “Hands Off.”

I got excited because I, too, am onboard with the government keeping its hands off my guns. Hands off my paycheck. Hands off taxing my hard-earned dollar just so kids can eat lunch for free at school.

As I got closer, I realized these were not the kind of signs I thought they were. I should have known when I saw a woman with an eyebrow ring and exposed midriff.

Apparently “hands off” means something else to these people. This is from their website:

This is the moment where we say NO. No more looting, no more stealing, no more billionaires raiding our government while working people struggle to survive.

On April 5th, we take action. Across the country, thousands of people will march, rally, disrupt, and demand an end to this billionaire power grab. We’ll show up at state capitals, federal buildings, congressional offices, and city centers—anywhere we can make sure they hear us.

Oh, you’re anti-billionaire, huh? You mean the people who create all of the jobs??

You’re upset at Elon Musk because he could solve poverty instead of toting chainsaws around and failing miserably at being funny or cool? That’s on YOU.

Anyway, it was cute seeing these people out protesting. There were only about 5 million people protesting nationwide. Laughable.

Last time I checked, Trump got 70 million votes.

What’s bigger? 5 or 70? Hmm, that’s a tough one.

Suck it up, buttercups. He’s your president, and I trust that whatever he’s doing is the right thing.

Tariffs? Bring em on.

Pause tariffs? Bring it on.

Tariffs again? Bring it on.

Pause tariffs again? Bring it on.

Trump is playing chess while everyone else plays checkers. He’s the King, and everyone knows that the King can move all over the board and do whatever he wants.

I think.

Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever really looked at a chess board now that I think about it.

I’m more of a Tic Tac Toe kinda guy.

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Pink Moon

According to this Yahoo article, there’s about to be a pink moon.

Skywatchers, get ready for a dazzling lunar display this weekend: April's full moon, known as the Pink Moon or Paschal Moon, will rise on the evening of Saturday, April 12.

While it won't appear pink, this full moon holds a special distinction — it's the smallest full moon of the year, also known as a "micromoon". This is because April's full moon occurs when the moon is farthest from Earth in its orbit (known as apogee), making it appear slightly smaller and dimmer than usual, though the difference may be hard to spot with the naked eye.

You say “pink moon.” I say potential blood moon/sign of the end times.

Listen to this: Revelation 6:12 says "And I beheld when he had opened the sixth seal, and lo, there was a great earthquake; and the sun became black as sackcloth of hair, and the moon became as blood.”

Just be aware of what the enemy my try, leading up to Easter.

Something feels off.

More from that article:

This full moon also plays a significant role in religious calendars. In the Christian tradition, the Paschal Moon determines the date of Easter, which falls on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox. In 2025, Easter will be celebrated on April 20.

Easter is to be celebrated. I will absolutely be dressing in matching pastel colors with my family and hunting eggs full of candy, but I will have eyes in the back of my head.

Do you think it’s a coincidence that Easter falls on 4/20 this year?

When we think of candy being laced with drugs or razor blades, we think of Satan’s holiday: Halloween, but please make sure to double-check your kids’ Easter baskets this year. Take those hollow chocolate bunnies and give them an extra shake for safety.

Roseanne Got Screwed

I just saw a headline that said The Conners is coming to an end.

Well, The Conners never should have been a thing to begin with! The show is called Roseanne!

In my opinion, Roseanne never should have gotten cancelled, and I’m glad to say that I never saw an episode of The Conners.

Was her tweet racist? Yes.

Has she said and done a lot of horrible, racist things? Yes.

Does she seem like an overall awful human being? Again, yes.

BUT aren’t we a country of 2nd, 3rd, and 4th chances??

I’d give Roseanne upwards of 8 chances, just because she’s so dang funny.

I hope y’all have a GREAT Good Friday and a wonderful Easter, but before we go, let’s close in prayer.

Heavenly father, please obliterate our enemies, foreign and domestic. Keep us safe on 4/20 as there will no doubt be spiritual warfare on that Easter Sunday. As our wives are in the kitchen, please keep them attentive, as I can’t handle another burnt meatloaf.

In your name we pray, AMEN!

If you want to help me fight the WOKE MIND VIRUS, you can become a TRUTHER by upgrading to a paid subscription.

America First 🇺🇸

Frank